Once upon a time, long, long ago, in a kingdom across the sea, there was a young man who knew everything. He was intelligent, handsome, accomplished, everything that his father could want.

Three years later, Wesley sat at his desk, put his head in his hands, and wondered where the hell that young man went.

Every certainty he'd had about himself had been shattered. He'd been the brilliant young Watcher, younger than any Watcher sent to guide a Slayer. If part of that was because his father was so powerful... well, he'd determined that he'd prove himself worthy of the trust that had been placed in him.

Sighing, Wesley raised his head and picked up the cup of tea he'd left on his desk, sipping at it. He made a face; it had gone cold and bitter since he'd brewed it. He had been the worst possible choice for an intelligent, independent, experienced Slayer, and had unforgivably alienated an insecure, less-experienced Slayer. With dogged persistence, he had shattered whatever trust either one could have had in him, all in the name of doing what was "right."

In the end, he'd capitulated, asked for help, offered his own. It had been accepted, but he had not. And in doing so, he'd turned his back on his father, the Watcher Council, everything he'd spent his entire life working for.

"Deep thoughts?" Kate asked from the doorway.

"If ruminating on the mistakes you've made in your life counts as deep, than yes." With a wave of the cold tea cup, he invited her in.

He was amused by how she moved to accept the invitation; slowly, so he didn't think she'd want it, but quickly enough that he wouldn't rescind it. "I didn't think you'd ever made a mistake. You're the point that everyone turns around here."

A startled laugh combined with a sip from his cup, and he choked. When his lungs were clear, he shook his head. "Is that how you see me?"

"Angel's hardly the most stable person, Gunn is only half here, and Cordelia is..." Kate waved a hand, looking for a word that wouldn't drive Wesley into automatic protective mode. "Young."

"I'm not disputing you, although I hardly agree."

"Doesn't that count as disputing?" Kate asked, grinning.

He made a face at her, one that made her laugh. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know. But you... people trust you, look to you."

"And thus, we return to the subject of my deep thoughts." Wesley toasted Kate with his cup, and drained the dregs.

"Your mistakes? They hardly can be any worse than mine." Kate folded her arms on the edge of his desk and leaned forward.

"Point the first: it hardly matters how much worse others' mistakes are. Your own are far more devastating. Point the second: you don't know how badly I bungled things before Angel gave me a chance here."

"How badly could you have screwed up?" Kate asked.

"Remember Faith?" Wesley asked softly.

"What, the psycho looney chick? I can't believe that you could be responsible --"

"I'm not responsible for what she is, or what she was until she decided to change herself. But I do hold myself responsible for doing everything wrong."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Wes," Kate said.

"Yes, well, most people don't make mistakes that lead to a young girl fated to fight the good fight joining the forces of darkness." Wesley propped his elbows on his desk and put his head in his hands. "For God's sake don't listen to me tonight, Kate. Hearing about that young girl has made me maudlin."

"What, the whole kidnapped from her family at age six thing? I can't see how that would bother you."

Without raising his head, Wesley said, "You perfected that sarcastic voice as a cop, didn't you?"

"It works." Dropping the sarcasm, Kate said, "If you ever did anything like that, I'm surprised you don't count it as one of your mistakes."

"I never participated in the recovery of a Slayer. I was too... useful. Too valuable where I was. But I never questioned it," he added, raising his head. "It made sense. A normal family, a normal life could never prepare a girl for the reality of what it would be like to hunt, fight and kill vampires. It was for her own sake, as well as the sake of the entire world, to take her young and train her well. We missed so many," he said absently. "There's a spell done, to try to determine where the girls that will someday be Slayers are. I participated in it once, after we'd discovered that Buffy had grown up in Los Angeles and been called before we had ever even heard of her. We'd completely missed many of the possibilities in North America. In short order we found Faith... and Amanda.

"I never considered how it would be," Wesley said. He stared past Kate's head, into a darkness she didn't want to understand. "I never translated theory into reality. I never imagined the terrified parents, the screaming child, the pain. And yet, I still can't believe that it isn't the best way. How could a girl understand and accept what her destiny would be if she wasn't raised to it?" With a disgusted shake of his head, Wesley snapped back to reality. "I suppose I haven't changed as much as I thought I had."

"No, I see what you mean. Without advocating the wholesale kidnapping of young girls, mind you. But I understand the damned-one-way-damned-the-other feeling."

"Well, in this case it seems that the Watchers were right, for a reason we never expected. From what Pike has said, they've been chased ever since Amanda ran away from the Watchers who had collected her, likely by the same group who murdered her family trying to get her. I need to do some research, discover who could possibly find use for a creating a vampire out of a child destined to be a Slayer."

"Do you need any help?" Kate asked.

Wesley offered her a tired smile. "Thank you, but likely no."

"Then I'll go out and referee the argument about where our new clients are going to spend the night."

"Good idea." Just as Kate reached the door, Wesley looked up. "Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad that you're here. We need you."

Her smile was very slow, but more real than the cynical grins he generally saw on her face. "Thanks."