Epiphany
Angel: Oh god. Oh god.
Darla: Yes. Yes, I know. It was the same for me. The soul is gone but it leaves a bitterness. It'll pass.
Darla: But we...
Angel: Yeah.
Darla: And you...
Angel: I know.
Darla: Then I...
Angel: Three times.
Darla: You're not evil. I-I don't understand. -- Was I... Was it... not good? Well, I don't accept that. You can not tell me that wasn't perfect. Not only have I been around for four hundred years, but I used to do this professionally. And *that* was perfect. (tries to drag him back to bed) We'll go again.
Angel: And it *was* perfect, Darla. -- It was perfect despair.
Host: All right, all right. -- All right, already! I'm not deaf, you know? Jeez, keep your pants on! (Angel walks in.) Well, I see we're a little late with *that* advice.
Angel: I probably should have killed her.
Host: Eh, kill her, give her cab fare, whatever. The point is, you've turned a corner. Well, yay you. Zuzu's petals. It's about time. And between you and me, if it had taken you much longer to hit your bottom, I was gonna kick it.
Angel: I'm still not sure I understand what happened.
Host: What's to understand? You think you're the first guy who ever rolled over, saw what was lying next to him and went 'Guyeah!' And you're not. Believe me. -- It's called a moment of clarity, my lamb. And you've just had one. Sort of appalling, ain't it? To see just exactly where you've gotten yourself?
Angel: If they wanted me to stay away, why didn't they just tell me?
Host: Would you have listened? -- Besides, what makes you think they didn't? Over and over and, as for example, over?
Host: Isn't this just the sort of 'tude that got you where you are now? I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say if all you're gonna do is switch back to brood mode, we'd rather have you evil. Then at least -- leather pants.
Host: And there is a chance, a *good* chance you won't be able to put this back together. It just... well, it depends, really.
Angel: Yeah, whether they'll even talk to me.
Host: No, actually it depends on whether they live through the night. And I got to tell you, at the moment, the odds? Not good.
Wesley: Angel!
Angel: Invite me in! I've never been here before, Wesley, you have to invite me in!
Wesley: Well, perhaps if you'd shown a bit of interest...
Angel: (looking past him) Wesley... (A Skilosh demon crashes in through Wesley's window)
Wesley: Yes. No. Absolutely. I invite you in. *In* I invite you!
Angel: Actually, it's kind of funny. I-I recently got a -- a gut wound myself. Not -- not a gunshot wound like you got there. But, uh, it's kind of a -- antique -- sword... is what it was. Went deep. -- Yes, it did. -- Hey, guess who stabbed me?
Wesley: Darla?
Angel: Yeah. -- Actually kind of a funny story. The whole reason I had -- this epiphany...
Angel: Oh, really? You kept the name.
Wesley: Pardon?
Angel: You kept the name: Angel Investigations.
Wesley: We're gonna change it.
Angel: Yeah, you were always so good with your books. Made it looks so easy. When it isn't.
Cordy: I'm guessing 'hey! Look behind you!' is really not gonna work, is it?
Cordy: No, no. No more must rise. Honest. Listen, I've been impregnated by demon spawn before. Let's just say, didn't really work out.
Wesley: But you don't. You don't know her at all. For months now you haven't cared to. Otherwise you might have realized that our Cordelia has become a very solitary girl. She's not the vain, carefree creature she once was... Well, certainly not carefree. -- It's the visions, you see. The visions that were meant to guide you. You could turn away from them. She doesn't have that luxury. She knows and experiences the pain in this city, and because of who she is, she feels compelled to do something about it. -- It's left her little time for anything else. -- You'd have known that -- if you hadn't had you head firmly up your... place that isn't on top of your neck.
Angel: Guys -- guys, d-does it make sense that sh-she would go there in the middle of the night without calling either one of you?
Gunn and Wesley: They owe us money.
Angel: Lets go.
Gunn: So, you had an *epiphany*, did you?
Angel: Yeah.
Gunn: So, what you just wake up and bang?
Angel: Well, it was sort of the other way around.
Wesley: Well, it's gonna hurt a lot more when the thing that's gestating inside of her hatches, I can assure you.
Gunn: Try not to say the word 'gestating' anymore.
Wesley: One more thing.
Gunn: What's that?
Wesley: I'm toppling over.
Angel: I'm sorry Lindsey. (Hits Lindsey) I really am. (Hits him again) I'm sorry she'll never love you. (And again) I'm sorry you're gonna have to live with that. (Again.) I'm sorry I didn't try harder to help you when you came to me. (He's not getting tired of hitting Lindsey) I'm sorry you made the wrong choice. (Smashes his prosthetic hand) Could have been the other one. Just be glad I had an epiphany.
Cordy: Angel... Hi.
Angel: Hi. -- You okay?
Cordy: No.
Angel: You're not?
Cordy: No. -- You really hurt my feelings.
Kate: I feel like such an idiot.
Angel: A lot of that going around.
Kate: I just couldn't... -- My whole life has been about being a cop. If I'm not part of the force it's like nothing I do means anything.
Angel: It doesn't.
Kate: Doesn't what?
Angel: Mean anything. In the greater scheme or the big picture, nothing we do matters. There's no grand plan, no big win.
Kate: You seem kind of chipper about that.
Angel: Well, I guess I kinda -- worked it out. If there is no great glorious end to all this, if -- nothing we do matters, -- then all that matters is what we do. 'cause that's all there is. What we do, now, today. -- I fought for so long. For redemption, for a reward -- finally just to beat the other guy, but... I never got it.
Angel: All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because -- I don't think people should suffer, as they do. Because, if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness -- is the greatest thing in the world.
Kate: Yikes. It sounds like you had an epiphany.
Angel: I keep saying that. But nobody's listening.
Kate: I don't know what I believe, but I -- have -- faith. -- I think maybe we're not alone in this.
Angel: Why?
Kate: Because I never invited you in.
Wesley: Before you say any more I think I should tell you, we've all discussed this, and none of us are ready just yet...
Angel: It's okay, Wesley. I don't want you to come back and work for me.
Wesley: Oh. I see.
Angel: I wanna work for you.
Cordy: The usual big scary rising up in a housing project in Topanga, and -- why is it that I am not on the floor this time?
Angel: I got you.
Cordy: Maybe *he* should drive?
Wesley: Let's go.
Grrrr.... arrrrgh!
Thank you, thank you very much.
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This
page last updated June 5, 2002.
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