Quotes

      Title

      W=Wesley G=Gunn F=Fred L=Lorne Cn=Connor As=Angelus (B)EC=(Booming-Voiced) Evil Cordelia
      Fa=Faith BD=Bar Demon [Yes, I know he's 'Francis' but we have too many "F" variations as it is!]

      W: "I'll get bandages."
      Fa: "No drama. I'm good."
      W: "You were nearly killed."

      W: "Faith, are you sure you're O.K.?"
      Fa: "A little sticky."

      As: "Slapped her around real nice."
      GroupieVamp: "Like a little bunny?"
      As: "A bloody, whimpering bunny."

      BD: "Yeah, Soul Boy. Nice job bringing the sun back!"

      BD: "Oh! Hey! Angelus! Buy you a warm one?"
      As: "Yeah, maybe after."
      BD: "After what?"
      As: "After I rip out your windpipe so it stops making that annoying 'talky' sound."

      As: "Where are you?"
      BD: "Wherever you want me to be, buddy!"
      BEC: "I'm where it's warm... and soft."

      As: "Hide and seek, huh? O.K. I'll play."
      BEC: "Playtime's over. You've been a bad boy. Killed my favorite pet.

      As: "O.K., Come on. You got a pair? Or the wind you're blowing up my tailpipe's all you can muster? Hey! Here's a kooky idea: Now that I've killed your little Pet Rock, how about a little face-to-face, huh? Assuming that you've got one."

      As: "Oh, come on. Why the stall? You whipped up a rain of fire, blotted out the sun, earthquakes, all to maneuver The Brady Bunch into releasing Angel's inner me. Huh? Don't you want to kick the tires?"
      (B)EC: "So beautifully vain. But the whirlwind doesn't always revolve around you. Destruction sometimes is its own reward."
      As: "Hey, you're preaching to the guy who ate the choir!"

      As: "Wait! It was you, wasn't it? You pulled just the wrong strings to make them _think_ it was their idea. Got 'em to yank that white, fluffy soul and stuff it in a jar, and then gone, baby, gone!"

      As: "Thanks for stopping by my head."

      BEC: "_You_ would dare to defy _me_?"
      As: "Defy who? A big scary voice? Whoa! Hey, I got one of those too, you wanna hear it? -- You can kiss my vampire ass! -- That do anything for you?"

      JunkieVamp: "Dude, whatever you're on? I'll give you the girl for a gram."

      EC: "Connor, Angelus cannot fight his true nature. It's who he is. But by killing The Beast he's made the world a little safer... for our family."

      Cn: "I won't ever let anything hurt you. Either of you."
      EC: "I know you won't. But just remember, this is ours. Nobody else needs to know how lucky we are."

      EC: "Our baby is growing so fast, it would scare them. And that fear might make them want to kill it. Like they wanted to kill you. But trust me, Connor: It won't be too long. They're all gonna know what's growing inside of me."

      F: "'But'? There's always a 'but'! When this is over can we have a big 'but' moratorium?"

      L: "Did I mention the only shots I'm good at involve tequila?"

      G: "If he pops a fang in here, thwack him where it hurts."
      L: "Goodnight, not-so-sweet prince!"

      Cn: "I thought you were more of a taser girl."

      L: "Odd bird. And getting birdier."

      G: "Connor's better off playing nursemaid... or whatever he's doing with Cordy-- that I _really_ don't want to know about."

      W: "I'm not worried about the bathroom, although I'm fairly sure my security deposit's a complete loss."

      F: "I do know one thing: You're out of your league. What you're up against? He'll make you his bitch, just like The Beast. So if you're gonna kill me, just get it over with... 'Made in China'?"

      As: "Too bad, I was just starting to have fun."
      Cn: "Why stop now?"

      As: "Well! Isn't that interesting?"

      As: "Nice try, Fred. You think about how close you came to stopping me when I'm slaughtering all your friends. Toodles!"

      Fa: "We track him, we find him, we--"
      As: "Get your asses kicked, on a wild guess?"

      As: "Sucky spell, huh? You think it'd at least go to the sidewalk."

      W: "Do it."
      As: "That's it. Come on, do it! Take your shot and save the world. Do it!"

      As: "All about choices, Faith. The ones we make and the ones we don't. Oh, and the consequences: Those are always fun!"

      Cn: "Are you O.K.?"
      EC: "Sure. Except for the morning sickness that can't tell time."

      G: "All I'm sayin is: He tries dancing in here and pulling a Dark Shadows again? He's gonna get a dart up his evil ass."
      F: "Well, his ass moves pretty quick."

      F: "SuperGirl wouldn't have fallen for a cheap hunk of crap like this."

      Fa: "I thought we weren't going for the kill?"
      W: "We're not. But if we get another chance, I want to slow him down long enough to tranq him."
      F: "By blowing his legs off?"
      G: "You want some help with that?"

      Fa: "Stay frosty. If he's still in the area--"
      W: "You'll let him escape again?"
      Fa: "This coming from the boy hostage?"

      W: "Angelus is an animal. The only way to defeat him is to be just as vicious as he is."

      As: "Half of this _crap_ is written in some sort of proto-demon cuneiform and, I don't want to be rude, but I think the other half? They just doodled."

      BEC: "*ANGELUS*!"
      As: "Hello? Volume!"
      BEC: "I am *not* well-pleased!"
      As: "And I'm not well-deaf!"

      BEC: "Dare to seek me out again and your insolence will be punished ten-fold!"
      As: "Yeah, what are you going to do, huh? Give me a migrane?"

      BEC: We should be friends, you and I."
      As: "No. And I'll tell you why: One-- Well, I'm evil, so the friends thing? That's out. And two-- If I did have any friends, they sure as hell wouldn't be living inside my head!"
      BEC: "Like you're forced to live inside Angel's? [laughs] Because you're the voice in there, aren't you? Just beneath the surface, buried under all that goodness. Fully conscious; fully aware. But trapped, unable to move or speak. Powerless to act on your desires. So thirsty! So helpless! It must be agony."

      BEC: "Soul, soul, who has your soul?... Oh, right... _me_."

      As: "All right. What do you want me to do... _Master_?"

      F: "You really think he'll come back?"
      G: "Measure twice, cut once."

      F: "All the little mouse could do was squeak at him."
      G: "Then next time Minnie will take a chunk out of his cheese."

      G: "Look, if you really think you did something wrong, don't do it again. That simple."
      F: "Is it?"

      F: "I'm sorry."
      G: "It's not about that any more, you know that."
      F: "All I know is I miss you."

      BD: "Come on, I bruise easy!"
      Fa: "Gee! I wonder what color you'll be when I'm done?"

      Fa: "I'm going to work really hard on the not-understanding-that, Lumpy."
      BD: "_Francis_!"

      BD: "Hey, what do I look like? A pinata?"
      Fa: "Let's find out"
      BD: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ease off the contusion!"

      BD: "On my mother's tumor! And even if I did, I'd never yak to a couple of flesh-bags that are about to get their internal organs sucked out of their--"
      W: [blasts] "Strom demon. Face should grow back. Eventually."
      Fa: "Think yours will?"
      BD: "Oh _that_ Angelus! Yeah. In here all the time. Running his mouth: 'Look at me! I'm so evil.' Real jackass. Never liked him. I'm on your side!"

      EC: "You know, most teenagers check for pimples."

      Cn :"Cordy, I don't even know what I am!"
      EC: "I do. You're a daddy. And daddies need to take responsibility, Connor. You need to face the fact that we're... _special_. Just like our baby's gonna be."

      EC: "And the only thing you ever have to worry about is keeping us safe."

      Fa: "Can you walk?
      DruggieChick: "No, ...but I can fly!"
      Fa: "What did they do to her?"

      DruggieChick: "Hey, you're pretty. You wanna make out?"

      Fa: "Have you totally lost it?"
      W: "I avoided the main arteries. She'll live... if that's what you call this."

      W: "Oh, you have a problem with a little torture now? I seem to recall a time when you rather enjoyed it."

      W: "I remember what you did to me, Faith. The broken glass. The shallow cuts... so I would remain conscious."
      Fa: "You think I'd hurt you again?"
      W: "Is this the part where you tell me you've turned a new leaf? Found God? Inner peace? We both know that isn't true. You haven't changed. You can't!"
      Fa: "Wes..."
      W: "Because you're sick, you've always been sick. It goes right down to the roots, rotting your soul. That's why your friends turned on you in Sunnydale, why the Watcher's Council tried to kill you. No one trusts you, Faith. You're a rabid dog who should have been put down years ag--"

      W: "See? It wasn't so hard, was it? It's what you'll need to beat him."

      L: "Oh. Smacked in the noggin with a two-by-four wrapped in velvet. Yeah, that's what it felt like."
      F: "I am so, so beyond sorry!"
      L: "Aw, go on. It's the first good nap I've had since the apocalypse started."

      F: "I let Angelus walk with Lilah's book and everything Wolfram & Hart suckered out of your head."
      L: "I was gonna have those framed."

      G: "Vampire Moriarity strolls in here waving the anti-mojo mojo... anybody would have done the same."
      L: "He had mojo?"
      F: "No-jo. He waved this piece of junk in my face and I went all spinal-paralysis."
      L: "Put the blame-stick down, Peaches. Maury's been peddling these to tourists since L.A. had cable cars, Honey! Fools the Bermuda shorts off 'em _every_ single time."

      As: "Little birdie in my head told me you'd be here. Woooh! Exciting!"

      As: "Uh oh! Vampire with a gun! I see why he likes this thing."

      As: "Now this is disappointing. You never used to bleed so easy."
      Fa: "Screw you."
      As: "Hmmm... Maybe after. I like my girls to lie still."

      Fa: "Save the headtrip, GQ. Wes told me you'd try to get under my skin. Gave me just what I needed to scratch you out."
      As: "Oh! Don't tell me: The rousing stiff-upper-lip speech? Rah, rah! Good over evil! Do what must be done! Hang in there, kid, it's almost Friday! Is that what the scraggly little ponce armed you with to fight the big, bad boogieman?"
      Fa: "Yeah. And *this*."

      As: "That hurt, baby. I liked it!"

      As: "I know how it feels: Forced to be someone you're not. Hurts to the bone. You try to bury the pain, but you can't get the hole deep enough, can you? No matter how much you dig, it's still there. Broken shards stabbing every time you breathe, cutting you up inside. You know there's only one way to make the pain stop: Hurt someone else."

      As: "Still looking for someone to help beat the bad out of you? You know what the funny part is, darlin'? I could beat you to death and it wouldn't make a difference. Nothing will ever change who you are, Faith. You're a murderer. Animal. And you enjoy it. Just like me!"

      Fa: "You're wrong. I'm different now. I'm not like you."
      As: "You will be."


      Grrr... Argh!

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      This page last updated April 17, 2003.

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