C: Why isn't Wolfram & Hart in here?
W: Because they're lawyers, not demons?
C: Fine line, you ask me.

C: Someone oughta create a Intra-Demon Dating Base. You know, like ArchFiend.org -- Where the lonely and the slimy connect.

C: I was just joking Mr. Grouchy Pants. When was the last time you had a dating base?
W: For your information, I live a rich and varied social life.
C: Oh, I know. Every night it's Jeopardy followed by Wheel of Fortune and a cup of hot cocoa. Look out girls, this one can't be tamed.
W: I'll admit it may not be as intoxicating as a life erected on high-fashion pumps and a push-up bra.
C: Hey, if anyone is wearing a push-up bra around here it's . . . Angel!

A: Do you two need to see a counselor?
C: No, I'm way too single entendre to benefit from therapy.
W: I don't know why you take everything so personally.
C: Me? Oh, this is rich coming from Mr. Don't Talk to Me Before I've Had my Flagon of Oatbran in the Morning.
A: Children, we have company.

D: My brother and I haven't exactly been close since we grew up. I made something of my life, and Jack . . . didn't.

A: Mind if I play, Ernie?
E: It's invitation only.
A: Then invite me. It's a been a while since I've played, so I might be a little rusty on the rules. But I think my Jacks ::tosses pictures of Jack on the table:: beat your pair.

E: Jack doesn't have any friends. Just people he doesn't owe.

C: Okay, I'm in. What did Darren write down about the demons that took his brother?
W: Bald. Ultra-white skin. Slime.
C: There's always slime. This is why I don't gamble. You make a small wager one day and a bigger one the next, and before you know it... Beetlejuicey Albino comes a-knockin'!

C: Claws or hands?
W: He wrote 'claw-like hands.'
C: Could be a mixed-breed. Smell?
W: Sulfuric.
C: Add a Porsche and hair plugs, and I've dated this guy. A lot.

C: Okay, first I say yuck, and then I hit search.

A: You set me up.
D: It was a group effort.

A: I asked for a room with a view.

A: We'll have so much to talk about during the long winter nights.

W: He's only been gone one night.
C: One long night in which he was supposed to check in with us and didn't. And. . . he's not someone who tans well.

C: You're going to the bookie?
W: That's the last place we know Angel went.
C: The bookie who may get his jollies cutting off people's extremities?
W: That's why I'm taking this!
::pulls out crossbow. . . and a tangle of other things::
Along with a few other things.

D: Trepkos, you're the main event. You'll go against Malish.
Cr: That's not a match-up; that's an execution.

::Demon throws himself across the red line and disintegrates::
J: Dammit. We paid good money for that one.

D: We'll have to find a replacement for his bout.
J: How 'bout Captain America, here?

W: Where is he?
E: Your boss? Gave me $200 to answer his questions. I'm a businessman. Make an offer.
W: You should understand that the man I work for means a great deal to me, and I will not give you a single red cent. What I will do, sir, is beat it out of you, if I have to.
E (laughing): You're from another country right?
W: ::holds up crossbow::
E: What are you, Robin Hood?
W: ::shoots the guy in the hand, grabs the gun he drops, and holds it on his henchmen:: Please drop those.

C: Sir, Madam. I'm Detective Andrews, this is Detective . . . Yelsew.

W: Something's going down tonight! Something with The Man!

C: You almost blew it!
W: I saved us.
C: Something's going down with The Man? You idiot.

Cr: Idiot. Thinks he can get out of this by pulling a Ghandi.

W: These Octavian matches date back to the Roman Empire. I'd heard rumors of a revival.
C: Well, couldn't they have just done West Side Story?

Cr: One lucky kill don't make you an expert.
A: That wasn't the first life I've taken -- or the twenty-first.

C: We've got to get Angel out of there.
W: I know. But to do that, we have to get him out of those wrist cuffs. No mean feat, they were forged by ancient sorcerers.
C: So get an ancient key.

W: I may be able to make one myself -- if I could get my hands on one of those cuffs, which isn't going to be easy . . . unless you happened to procure one while I wasn't looking.

J: Well, that was the most exciting match I've ever seen. My favorite part was when you stuck Baker with the knife. Kind of put a damper on the whole brotherhood spiel.

A: Someone needs to put you in your place. You . . . and your brother.
J: Someone may. Someday. But not you. And not today.
A: Why put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today?

D: Let him go.
A: Soon as you let us go.
D: Who do you think you are, Moses?

A: He's your brother.
D (shoots): Now he's my dead brother.

L: How do you feel?
A: Like I was hit by lightning after the truck ran me over.

A: You're a fight fan. And a lawyer. Let me guess -- Wolfram & Hart.

L: There's not one reason why we can't work together.
A: You're right. . . . there are about a thousand.

C: You'd think people would get enough gratuitous violence watching Jerry Springer.
W: Cordelia, do you mind? I'm trying to concentrate.
C: You've been concentrating all night.

W: I need to see Angel. Tall fellow. Prominent brow.
Cr: Yeah, he's dead.
W: Dead?
Cr: About 20 seconds, he will be. He's fighting Trepkos and who the hell are you?

Cr: Gimme your wrist . . . loser.

Trepkos: It was a good fight.
A (nearly collapses): I coulda taken ya.

C: Angel, you don't look so . . . well it's a good thing you heal fast.
A: It's also a good thing you guys found me in time.
C: We weren't going to let anything happen to you. Well, I mean beyond the slavery and the severe beatings and stuff.

C: Wesley came up with the key!
W: But Cordelia came up with the key to the key in a clinch moment.
A: You both did great. And I think we did a good thing here.
W: Yes. We set the captives free.
C: Well, actually, didn't we set a bunch of demons free?
W: Ah well, technically. . . yes.

Grr . . . aargh!